


I'd Cross the Galaxy with You (Never without you)

by bug_a_boo05



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Episode: s06e02 Red Sun Rising, F/M, Sanctum (The 100), Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:20:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25903486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bug_a_boo05/pseuds/bug_a_boo05
Summary: Clarke copes poorly after the Red-Sun Toxin. Bellamy finds her and as she confesses her inner turmoil, the radio she is unaware of is on, and broadcasts everything to Spacekru and the others in Sanctum. (I know radios don’t work in Sanctum, but let’s just pretend they do for now, okay?)**tw: suicide
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 38





	I'd Cross the Galaxy with You (Never without you)

Clarke walked away from Sanctum, taking her pack with her knife with her. It’s all she would need. Herself and her knife.

Her feet carried her away from the compound and into a small clearing in the woods. Everything the psychosis that made her believe her mom was talking on the radio to her brought up every dark and twisted memory that was locked away for the time being, Emerson’s words floated around her head, “What’s the matter? Don’t like to be faced with your demons?”

‘As a matter of fact, no, I don’t,’ Clarke thought.

Clarke found a clearing a decent distance from the city and dropped her pack on the ground, accidentally turning on the radio.

Clarke sat back against the tree, “No one needs me anymore,” Clarke spoke to the branches above her, “And I’m talking to a tree… better silence then insults… no one needs me anymore. They probably never did… maybe if they had just floated me with my father… Wells would still be alive because he wouldn’t have gotten arrested, Finn wouldn’t have killed a grounder village for me, and then I wouldn’t have had to kill him to save him from toture, hell then Raven wouldn’t have been tortured… and maybe she wouldn’t have been shot. Wells wouldn’t have been killed and then Murphy never would have been blamed for his death, and he never would have been banished. Murphy never would have been hung and hurt, and Bellamy wouldn’t have been either. Raven wouldn’t have been shot trying to save Bellamy. Mount Weather would have been different… maybe both Jasper and Maya would still be alive. Maybe I couldn’t have stopped Pike… but Lexa would still be alive. She got shot because Titus was trying to shoot me. Maybe she could have saved Lincoln, rather than being busy with politics and me in Polis maybe she could have stopped Pike earlier, and maybe could have stopped the Azgeda from blowing up Mount Weather. Then, Bellamy wouldn’t have joined Pike, and maybe he could have worked with Kane to get everyone out of there earlier… before Pike could shoot Lincoln. I couldn’t have stopped Praimfaya… but maybe the list could have been a group effort… there would be no one to just dump it on and then get upset with, like what happened to me. The nightblood testing would have been done because my mom wouldn’t have destroyed the radiation chamber… and maybe if Mount Weather was still around, they could have used that bunker too. Madi’s parents would still be alive… and no one would need me to be their sacrifice again. Maybe Eligius would have been handled differently, they wouldn’t have tortured someone from the start, Bellamy would have just had a peaceful talk with them, and then there would still be Earth. See… I am the problem. Everyone else knows it… I just… I just hate that it took me this long to have figured it out. I think everyone has wanted to kill me at some point… hell, Murphy told me how much fun it would be to shoot me during the Red-Sun Toxin…”

Clarke looked up at the branches again, “My last words won’t be to people… and how fitting for the Commander of Death to die at her own hands…” Clarke reached for the knife, “I miss Earth… but maybe it would have been better for me to have never seen it. My only regret,” Tears began to pour down Clarke’s face, “My only regret now is never telling Bellamy how much I love him… but he’s happy though, so it’s not that big of a regret I guess… I know it's a selfish regret, but I’ve always just been trying to save my people… well, I guess by that logic, then my regret is not using that fork on my neck in lock up… too bad we were sent to Earth before I could carry it out.”

Clarke hissed as she made the first cut along her right wrist, but sighed as she pulled the knife back, “I’m sorry world… maybe feeling the pain of dying with atone enough for my sins though,” Clarke cut her other wrist, “May we meet again.”

Clarke leaned back and dropped the knife, watching the blood pool around her.

“Clarke!”

Clarke looked around, seeing Bellamy run towards her, ripping his jacket off and trying to out pressure on her wrists. 

“Stop, Bellamy!” Clarke yelled as she tried to twist away from him, her body already growing weak from blood loss, “Please! Just let me die! I can’t go on anymore like this! I can’t just be the punching bag and the ‘dump all the hard decisions on her and then blame her for making a choice I didn’t like’ girl any more!”

“Then let me join you, because I love you too, Clarke… and I can’t go on without you. Not again.”

“Bellamy…”

“Princess…”

Clarke made no move to stop him as he adjusted himself behind her and lifted the knife too, “May we meet again, Princess.”

Clarke turned and kissed him sweetly on the mouth, “May we meet again, Bellamy.”

Bellamy used the knife too as their other friends arrived.

“No! This... NO!” Raven yelled.

Clarke was barely conscious anymore, “Bye…”

Raven began ordering everyone around and putting pressure on her friends’ wounds.

“No, you don’t get to do this, Clarke. You don’t!”

“Then what’s the point, Ra...en? I saved my daughter because you guys told me I was no longer a part of your family, what’s so wrong with that? I wrote the list and everyone got mad at me for it? I saved you from Mount Weather and had to cope my own way, and everyone was mad… what did I do wrong?”

“She’s fading fast,” Abby said as she pressure wrapped Clarke’s and Bellamy’s arms, “He’s not faring too well either… we need to get them out of her now!”

Clarke was lifted by Abby and Jackson as Miller and Murphy lifted Bellamy.

“Hurry! Get Madi! We need to do a blood transfusion...” 

\----------

Clarke woke up a couple hours later on the Eligius transport ship.

“Bellamy?”

Raven rushed over, and Clarke flinched back at the sudden movement, “Clarke!”

“But… where’s Bellamy?”

“He’s in the other room, Clarke. You guys… you guys gave us quite the scare… you know. I- I really thought you died when you passed out. We came to the transport ship because it was closer than Sanctum.”

Clarke frowned at her, confusion filling her features, “So?”

“So, you almost died, Clarke! We can’t lose you, Clarke!”

“Right, you need someone to make the hard choices again. You guys still need me for that, because finding peace has never been easy, and so you got to make the decision for me on whether I got to live or die,” Clarke sighed, “I guess my title only extends to other people. I can’t decide for myself.”

Raven looked hurt by this.

“Yeah, I know, it’s not fair because you never got to hash you shit out with me, but it’s okay, we’re all good. I’m sorry I couldn’t save Shaw-”

“-Even though she ran through a radiation shield that she had no idea whether or not it could have killed her too,” Bellamy was leaning on the door frame, his forearms tightly bandaged like Clarke’s.

Raven opened her mouth to respond, but no sound came out at first, “...uh- Bellamy… you shouldn’t be up yet.”

“I’m fine, Raven.”

“You almost killed yo-”

“I’m well aware, Raven. I can feel it,” Bellamy gestured with his arms.

Raven nodded awkwardly before getting up, “I’m going to go.”

Bellamy nodded and made his way over to Clarke’s bed as Raven left. He lay down next to her as she scooted over a bit, “I’ll follow wherever you go, Princess. Everywhere until my dying breath, or your dying breath, and even then, I’ll follow you.”

“I’ll follow you wherever you go, Bell. Let me know whenever you want to change directions in this life, because I’m following.”

Bellamy wrapped his arms around her and turned on his side, “I love you, Clarke.”

“I- but… what about Echo? I-I totally ruined-”

“No, that relationship never should have happened. We both agreed on it right before I left to get you.”

“How did you know where to find me?”

“You left the radio on, I assume accidentally, but all of our people heard it… I took the other radio with me when I left to go after you. I’m- I’m sorry you had to face all of that alone… and maybe it’s selfish of me because you really feel like we would be better off without you, but… I’m really glad you didn’t get floated with your father.”

“Only because I met you,” Clarke said in agreement.

“We wouldn’t have been better off without you, and I can list a million reasons and ways that everything would have failed without you. But I’m won’t, because I know it won’t make you feel better, but I’ve never stopped needing you… not since the day you climbed down that ladder and yelled at me to stop because the air could be toxic.”

“I haven’t been able to stop needing you since you stared me down and told me that if the air was toxic, we were all dead anyway.”

Bellamy buried his face in her hair, “Together, right? We’ll always be together?” He murmured quietly.

“If I ever need to leave, I’m taking you with me.”

“Good, because I hope you know that I’ll go anyway… you know, all those years ago at the gates to- Camp Jaha at the time- Arkadia, if you’d asked me to go with, I would have gone.”

“I wish I had. I wanted to, but I was worried that our people would be lost without you…” Clarke traced a circle pattern up and down his arm, going between the cotton bandage and his smooth skin.

“I was lost without you… and a lost leader will have lost people.”

Clarke snuggled closer into his arms, “I wish we had an extra ship to just run… maybe go to the planet that Alpha is the moon to.”

Bellamy shrugged, “Or maybe we just go to a new place on Alpha… far away from Sanctum. Maybe have a kid… or take Madi with us.”

Clarke nodded as she began to doze off, “I’d cross the galaxy with you, Blake.”

“Good, because I’m not ever leaving you behind again.”

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think? I threw it together last night out of boredom. Should I continue it? Comment and Kudos please! <3


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